The Journey (so far)

I had this whole blog post mapped out in my brain last night, as I was lying in bed (over) thinking.

This morning the content was wiped from my brain. That's what I get for not writing my ideas down! Lesson learned.

I guess I'll just start writing and see what ends up flowing from the fount of inspiration. This blog is meant to be a diary of sorts, a way for me to track my own progress, but I thought it would be a cool idea to make it visible for all to follow along!

By now, you probably know a little about me, or you're just getting to know me. I'm sure my personality will glimmer through this blog, as I feel right at home when I'm writing words down.

I have ADHD (yes, it's diagnosed) and so my blog will most likely bounce from one subject to another I promise you it's all related- in my head at least.

My Mentor once told me she believes ADHD stands for "Attention Dialed to a Higher Dimension" and I honestly have that same belief now. I feel like I'm constantly in my third eye and crown chakra with all these FANTASTIC ideas and visions I have for myself, my friends, and the world. The struggle comes when I can't quite bring it to existence on a physical level, or even a digital one. This has been my main focus since starting my spiritual business journey.

Part of my super power is hyper-focusing. I am now hyper-focused on making this business as successful as I can. What does that mean though? I had to really tune in and find that out for myself, because we live in a society that says success = lots of money. I think that's a common theme among us humans, trying to find the definition of success and chase after that. What I want to do is simply enjoy what I do. So far, I've been successful in that! I feel like that is the perfect place to start.

Reflecting on my past behaviors with past endeavors, I see some patterns in myself that could be worked on. I did some studying with a shaman and took a year long course with her, where I learned how to "stalk" my own patterns and behaviors. If you want more information on self-stalking, click the button below to be guided to a wonderful article that explains more about it.

Stalking info

Anyway- back to my behaviors that need worked on. I notice that I tend to get bored of things once they become "joblike" and I don't want to do it anymore. It's like as soon as the world starts paying me, I'm overwhelmed and get burnt out.

To give you an idea, here are all the businesses I've started and stopped:

Businesses

Jewelry making business

Reiki Practioner

Tarot Reader

Sex toy distributor

Many other Independent sales jobs

The emotional and mental "stuff" that comes up for me is:

1. Why should anyone believe that THIS time is the REAL time I'm going to "stick with it"?

2. More importantly, why do I believe that this time is it?

3. What steps can I take to make this time different?

4. How can I look at burn-out in a new way and alchemize this experience into something beautiful?

5. What do other people have that I don't have that seems to propel them, and stop me?

(Dear soul that is reading this- please know that I am currently processing as I am typing)

I think I can answer those questions as truthfully as I see them. If anyone has suggestions, I'd love to hear them!

1. It doesn't matter if they believe, I am going to continue doing what I love doing!

2. I believe in following my heart and this is what it's telling me to do.- this time is different because I'M different. I'm an updated version of myself.

3. I am ever-evolving and learning. I can continue doing this because I am currently working with several mentors and spiritual advisors, as well as energy healers to get me through all the "gunk" from before.

4. This one is hard! Avoiding burn-out seems impossible because, like I said, I will hyperfocus until I have no UMPH left in me. I think what feels right, in this moment, is to schedule my time. My time is valuable and my needs are important. I want to continue to love this work! I have come back to energy work so many times, and it's such a pillar in my life. This is work that needs to be done.

5. Nothing. We all have the same stuff within us, we just transmute it, alchemize it, and use it differently. Part of me working with these mentors is me "stalking" their behaviors and patterns. Reading between the lines. Looking for connections on all of the things they DO and have in common.

Vulnerability is a must in my book, and I'm finally ready to share it with those willing to go through it with me! Although I'm a spiritual and energy worker, I am still having a human experience. This is part of it!

I think that's about it for today. It gives me something to reflect on and process. For now, I hope it brings awareness to the places and patterns within yourself that you can stalk and explore.

Soulheartedly yours,

Brittany